Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
I have an addictive personality.
I am addicted to sin. I do not have to work at sinning. It comes pretty easily. I can do it without thinking. Certain ones seem to come up again and again, but fortunately they are quiet sins and I can conceal them well so no one gets hurt.
I am addicted to doing what I want to do. I can’t help it. I can have four or five tasks waiting which call for reasonable, responsible action (stuff everybody has to learn to do — it’s part of life) and I will pick the easiest one first until my time is all used up on that one and the other things will have to wait for another day. I am addicted to procrastination.
I am addicted to a comfortable feeling. It’s a soft, selfish place inside that I will protect at great cost to even those who are close to me. My soft spot is non-confrontation and avoidance, and I protect it ruthlessly.
I am addicted to isolation. I crawl into a “man cave” deep inside where you can’t find me. Oh, I may be here in person, but then again, I’m not here. I come out in ministry because I love God and I know He has gifted me with certain gifts that need me out of my isolation in order to function, but as soon as I am done with using my gift, just try and find me. Good luck. I’ve already checked out and into my cave.
I am addicted to my way of thinking. I am fiercely convinced about my opinions and convictions. I will listen politely to yours, but I won’t seriously consider them because I know I am right.
I have an addictive personality, but as long as I hold onto these things I am addicted to, I can manage my life. However lately I’ve noticed something. I’ve noticed it’s harder and harder to keep everything in order. I’ve got so many rationalizations and denials going on, it’s getting harder to keep track of them all. It’s getting harder to maintain that comfort zone I cherish so much. As long as I hang out with people who know the rules of non-confrontation, I should be just fine.
I have an addictive personality, but as you can see, I’m able to manage it pretty well (at least up until now). I may be addictive but I’m not an alcoholic. I hardly ever have more than one beer or one glass of wine. That’s just never been a problem for me. In fact, I hate that feeling of not being in control. That’s why I’m up here worshiping God with the normal people. We’ve got our addictions under control up here. And as long as no one digs too deeply into anybody’s life, we’ll be just fine, not like those powerless people downstairs. Praise the Lord.
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